


Follow Your Heart Wherever It Goes

by gaialux



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Pre-Canon, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-20 17:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaialux/pseuds/gaialux





	Follow Your Heart Wherever It Goes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samidha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/gifts).



He meets her in a bar just off campus. She's sliding shots and pouring beers for the patrons, some already a happy drunk after finals. He hopes to be them one day.

"Anything for you, love?" She asks, a bright smile pulling up her strawberry pink lips. Her hair seems to bounce with every step.

It takes Sam's brain a moment to catch up. "Uh...Beer. Please?"

"Sure thing."

Her long fingers, with nails painted to match her lips, wrap around the tap's handle. She pours him a tall beer, minimal head, and sets it in front of him. Sam feels like a high school kid all over again; like when Dean used to sneak him into bars and buy him either a heavy beer or the girliest drink on the menu. He takes a sip and tries to smile.

"I'm Jess," she says, leaning towards him. Her curls spill out onto the bar. "And you?"

"S--Sam."

"Sam." She says it with a lot more confidence than he managed. Like the name was made for her mouth. "Pleased to meet you."

She extends her hand and Sam takes it. Warm, soft. "You too."

* * *

 

They get to know each other over the ensuing weeks.

Sam finds out Jess is majoring in sociology, and she pushes Sam to think about what he wants. What he  _really_ wants.

"Law, I suppose," he decides. "I like helping people...making a difference."

It's too much of an echo to what he was told growing up, but at least this time the choice was all his. They spend time together in the library or at the bar when Jess works. He hangs out in her dorm and her in his. Jess takes him to restaurants and movies and everything  _normal_. Even laser tag and he feels like a kid until she kisses him and he just feels alive.

Today they both don't have classes, and Jess isn't working until late. Luck would also have it that Jess's roommates are out. It seems like about time to make the transition, to go from chaste kisses to grabbing and grinding up against the wall. Jess flashes him bright smiles between kisses and her hands roam over his back. Then, as suddenly as it started, she pushes him away and her eyes darken.

Oh.

"Look," she says, and it's the first time Sam has seen her falter. Even her eyes wouldn't find his. "There's something you have to know."

Sam watches her naked chest rise and fall, her breathing even faster than when they were making out just ten seconds earlier.

"What?" He asks, after silence stretches out between them.

She takes a deep breathe and seems to hold it forever between hiking down her skirt and bright red underwear.

"Oh," Sam says. His brain numb and dumb, reeling as he takes it in.  _Her_ in. All of it. "You certainly are forward."

She lets out a strangled laugh and Sam watches as tears shine in her eyes. She hikes her clothes back on. "Just go."

"Jess--"

"I know," she says. She raises a hand to her eyes and wipes away the defiant tears, her face turning stoic. "You're not into this. I'm sorry for leading you on, I just thought--"

"Thought what?" He wants to reach out. To touch her, to hold her, to kiss her tears away. But his arms feel frozen at his sides.

She sighs like this is a tired act she's had to go through before. "I just thought you'd be different."

Sam's arms can move again. He wraps them around Jess's shoulders and feels her fall into them.  _Safe_ , Sam hopes.

"Different how?" he asks.

"I thought...I thought we had something." She ducks her head and all he can see is a soft spray of curls. "But now you know I'm a  _freak_ and--"

"You're not a freak," Sam says, eyes suddenly wild. "How could you think that? Jess..." He cups her chin and brings up her eyes. They're filled with tears again, this time joined with tracts down her cheeks. "You're  _amazing_. In every way. I don't care about this.  _Any_ of this. I lov--"

He catches himself, biting down on his tongue hard enough to taste blood.

Her lips break into a smile. "You  _love_ me?"

Sam's still biting down on his tongue and he feels his cheeks turn red. He's really blown it.

"Sam," Jess says. He still doesn't answer. "Sam."

Jess stands up on her tip toes and presses a kiss to his lips. "I love you, too."


End file.
